Fat and Skinny Gays

Since the sequester began, our government has opted to spend one and a half million dollars on a study to ascertain why lesbians are fatter than gay men. Apparently, 75% of all lesbians are obese while gay men are by far thinner than the heterosexual male population, which is full of fatties as we all know. People are actually studying this right now, and trying to figure out why and if gender plays a part.

I think I know the answer, but I certainly won't say it here for free. I wonder just who in the Obama administration I should contact to get in on that deal.