Thursday, March 22, 2018

Don't Knock Dropouts

An article in today's Wall Street Journal about the young man who left a string of package bombs in Austin, Texas and was finally apprehended described him as "a 23-year-old who had dropped out of college." A few paragraphs later he was again cited as "the 23-year-old college dropout," as if the term conveys so much information it was worth repeating.

We can safely assume that the authors of the article, Russell Gold and Dan Frosch (these days it takes two college graduates to write a short news story) both completed their four years after high school, maybe more, yet they can't come up with any other way to describe this wayward youth than as a "college dropout," thus implying he was a lowlife dummy. I'd like to alert them to the following list of millionaires and billionaires who are also college dropouts, with the hope they will stop thinking it's a useful descriptive term. (Maybe they should go to graduate school to expand their vocabularies.)

Abraham Lincoln (Not a millionaire, just former US president)
Mark Zuckerberg (Founder and CEO, Facebook)
Bill Gates (Founder and CEO, Microsoft, wealthiest person on the planet)
Steve Jobs (Founder and CEO, Apple)
Frank Lloyd Wright (Architect)
Lady Gaga (Singer)
John Mackey (Founder and CEO, Whole Foods)
Travis Kalanick (CEO, Uber)
Michael Dell (Founder and CEO, Dell Computers)
Tom Hanks (Actor)
Patrick Dempsey (Actor)
James Cameron (Movie Director)
Buckminster Fuller (Inventor, Futurist, Philosopher)
Evan Williams (CEO, Twitter) 
Jim Carrey (Actor)
Walt Disney (Founder, Disney Company)
Tiger Woods (Golf Pro)
John Lennon (Singer)
Wolfgang Puck (Celebrity chef)
Harrison Ford (Actor)
Larry Ellison (CEO, Oracle)
Ellen de Generes (Entertainer)
Ted Turner (Founder, CNN)
Coco Chanel (Fashion mogul, Founder of Chanel)
David Karp (CEO, Tumbler)
Daniel Ek (CEO, Spotify)
Brad Pitt (Actor)
Matt Mellenweg (CEO WordPress)
Oprah Winfrey (Entertainer, Publisher)
F. Scott Fitzgerald (Author)
Ralph Lauren (Fashion mogul, Founder of POLO)
John Mayer (Singer)
Al Pacino (Actor, also dropped out of high school)

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Hillary and Rachel Caught in Russian Love Triangle

Okay, don't get mad but this post has nothing to do with its title; I just wanted to get you here and it was the only way I could be sure you would click. What I really want to talk about is the absurdity of blaming Facebook for bad people, including those mean old Russians who used it for nefarious purposes by suggesting that Hillary Clinton was evil, thus ushering Trump into the White House. They allegedly did this by posing as regular Joes you may have befriended despite their being total strangers, which boils down to Facebook users who befriend total strangers are morons, but that's another post altogether.

Yes, bad people do bad stuff on Facebook. But how is that Mark Zuckerberg's fault? That's like blaming the guns for the deaths in that Florida high school shooting when a guy named Nikolas Cruz did it. Or blaming FEMA Director Michael Brown for all the deaths in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, when everyone finally understands that only the city's Mayor, Ray Nagin (now behind bars for some other crime) could have evacuated the city, not to mention that only God can make a hurricane.

If everyone would stop scrounging around for a scapegoat and accept that bad things happen because damaged children reach adulthood and seek to assuage their pent-up rage and pain by hurting others, perhps things would improve throughout society. I'm not sure, but we must all be doing something really basic really wrong, or things wouldn't be this bad. Every major foul-up can't be Trump's or Zuckerberg's or Putin's or the Republican's fault, can it? And really, if you have to blame someone in human form, consider Rachel Maddow. She is sort of human, although she may actually be the Devil in disguise. (Check out her high school yearbook photo shown above.)

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Celebrate Spring!

Just 'cause it's funny. (Laughter is good for you!)
As of 11 o'clock this morning, my current shrink thinks I have made "amazing progress" in the years she has known me. This was interesting to hear since I feel stagnant all the time. Was she being truthful or did she say that so I will think she's been incredibly helpful and thus will continue seeing her? (Ever the skeptic, such thoughts are common for me and are the main reason I see a shrink in the first place.)

Besides, what constitutes "progress" for a human? All of us whose basic needs are met are bent on "finding our purpose" and "fulfilling our unique potential," as if when we do the benefits to mankind will be enormous when really maybe all that will happen is that we lose weight and our jeans fit better or we engage in a new hobby and have more fun each day, and really who cares about that besides us?

Most people take things far too seriously, especially considering that Donald Trump is our president.  If you are not among the starving poor or the homeless refugees clutching to life in some war-torn landscape, desperately seeking food, water or shelter, chances are you're trying to decide where your kid should go to college, what color to paint the dining room, whether to get a dog from a breeder or the pound or should you do yoga or pilates. Whatever it is, the solution of your current dilemma will have few, if any, ripples, so lighten up. And no matter where you live, get outside -- spring is here!

Monday, March 19, 2018

Dreaming of Reincarnation

Despite what you may think I try to be open-minded, but I still get slightly nauseous when I see those nose-rings that look like dripping snot. The other night at dinner, our waitress sported one of those. She was a pretty young woman, except for the silver snot balls dangling from each nostril. I considered asking her why she saw fit to do such a thing, but instead all I said was, "I'll have the Caesar salad with no croutons and extra anchovies."

Looking around the restaurant, I saw that almost everyone working there had some sort of shiny object jutting out of an odd place. The bartender had two big silver balls over one eyebrow, which almost deflected my attention from the tattoo encircling her neck spelling out something in a foreign language. (Turns out it was Celtic but I have no idea what it said.)

Among other attributes of his that I have mentioned before, no doubt too often, I am fiercely proud of my son for resisting the more outrageous forms of rebellion undertaken by so many of his peers. He still wears the lovely unmarked skin he arrived in, and has not poked any holes into it for the hanging of hardware. I believe this to be one of his strongest attributes as it indicates a steely core able to withstand the uncomfortable role of the outsider. It's clearly an inherited trait passed down from my mother, and one that I struggle against daily despite having been saddled with it since day one.

Some people say they want to come back as a cat or a movie star or Mahatma Gandhi. I'm hoping that in my next life I'm a Hillary-loving, book-club-joining scrapbooker with a maroon Suburban van and six kids who all need new shoes every few months that I shop for between driving them to soccer and the dentist and the doctor and play dates, leaving no time in my busy schedule to think about the meaning of life. Or anything at all, really. 

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Some Questions to Ponder

The Cleavage of Stormy Daniels
I try to imagine what it's like to wake up every day and get ready for work when my job entails digging up more dirt on President Trump and his alleged sexual fling a dozen years ago with ex-porn star Stormy Daniels as if it matters. I fail miserably as I can never get past the part where I walk into my boss's office and say "I quit." How do these "journalists" continue to do it? And what do they talk about with one another when they aren't at work?

I've never been one to prostitute myself for money. Maybe if I had I'd be living my dream today, although my dream does not depend on me having money and no, I'm not going to divulge it here. I'm just saying that having a lot of money must be fun or else why would so many people do such embarrassing, or illegal, things trying to get some?

And here's another one for you. My husband's cousin's daughter, who he follows on Facebook and who is a rabid leftist just like her mother, posted something about how she set up a page to raise money for "the kids in Florida" who are out doing so much to "change" things by cutting classes and waving signs about how guns are bad. What do they need money for? Are markers and poster board that expensive?

Did anyone even stop for a minute yesterday to note the passing of the scientist Stephen Hawking, who has been called "the smartest man alive" and who discovered black holes in space? And does anyone know what black holes are and why we need them, or not?

Finally, today is St. Patrick's Day. Just who was St. Patrick and why does he deserve a "day" all his own? Is today the day he was born or when he died, or possibly the day he invented green beer?  How should we honor him, and do only the Irish people care?

Friday, March 16, 2018

Guns Are Not the Problem

Everyone's all atwitter, literally, about the shooting in Parkland, Florida several weeks ago that left 17 people dead. Nationwide, students in high schools, and even those in younger grades including elementary schools, are walking out or staying home, postponing their education to gather together and wave signs with the message, "NO MORE GUNS!" They are demanding that the government, of all things, take care of this problem, as if the lack of legal access to guns will stop anyone with murder as a goal. Besides, while anger and hatred are rampant in America, nowhere is it more evident than in the halls of Congress where the slightest difference of opinion results in a nasty food fight and possible shutdown.

Stay in school, kids. All your sign-waving and moments of silence cannot fix the ills of a society buckling under the weight of our collective mental and physical illness caused by the consumption of poisonous foods and abuse of harmful drugs, obsession with violent entertainment, bastardization of sex, ejection of God from everyday society, growing racial rivalry, disregard for the elderly, abandonment of nature and misguided worship of money and celebrity. Instead of worrying about the gun laws, fixing these broken parts of our society should command your full attention.

Forget the guns; sad but true, killers will find a way. Just yesterday, someone with a twisted soul tossed a 35-pound boulder from an overpass onto a random car driving along a highway, killing a 23-year-old man in the passenger seat with his pregnant wife at the wheel and his mother and 4-year-old daughter in the back seat. My message for the students who now claim to fear for their lives by attending school is instead of cutting class, study harder and be a force for good when you grow up.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Poor Hillary

The best thing I got out of the last presidential election is the ability to say to myself, when I'm feeling down and everything seems bleak, "At least I'm not Hillary Clinton." That's a big help sometimes, like this morning when I woke up at five to go to the bathroom and couldn't stand up because I was having an attack of my BPPV, which makes the room spin around crazily like that scene in Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo where Kim Novak feels like she's falling, with the spinning black and white circles. Anyway, it was right then that I thought, "This sucks, but at least I'm not Hillary Clinton."

Decisions, decisions.....
Not only is she married to a serial philanderer with a gigantic ego (even bigger than hers), but she's apparently in the grips of a runaway food addiction which explains why her pantsuits are morphing into caftans. But the real problem with Hillary, and why she needs our sympathy and support, is that she just can't accept her own reality, which is this: She lost the election, for which she had been preparing her entire adult life, to Donald Trump. Actually when you look at that statement in a certain light, it's kind of an amazing accomplishment that few other people, if any, could have managed. So, with the right drugs in her system, she could even feel proud.

Anyway, Hil went to India last weekend to hawk the book she wrote about why she lost, and talked about why she lost. We are now more than a year out from that sorry situation, yet for her it's still front and center. She's obsessed, not to mention delusional. Her current rationalization of why she lost, or "What Happened" as she sadly titled her book, is because all those "deplorables" are just so, well, so deplorable!

Naturally she gave some examples, like how white people in certain parts of the country hate blacks and want them to fail, and how white women in certain parts of the country still feel pressured to vote the way their husbands and sons tell them to, and how white people in certain parts of the country don't like it when certain ethnic groups, like Indian-Americans to pick a group at random while she's speaking to a bunch of Indian-Indians, outshine them in the workplace. Added to all that was that "ill-advised" CIA Director Jim Comey who spooked people about her just two weeks before the election, making everyone who was  planning to vote for her decide not to.

Clearly the woman is out of her gourd and should be locked up, not in a prison like the Trumpies chant, but in a mental institution.