If you say "nigger" in the forest, can anyone hear it?

Surely one of the stupidest "advancements" of the human race is the practice of saying "the N-word" instead of "nigger." If it means the same thing, why is it better, or even acceptable? I am betting that some people who are reading this post are SHOCKED that I dared to write "nigger," as if by doing so I have declared that slavery is a good thing, black people are no better than dogs, I wave the Confederate flag and have a wardrobe of hooded white sheets hanging in my closet.

Last April, a white Cincinnati police officer angrily shouted "the N-word" in the privacy of her patrol car after a black man in a crowd of people flipped her the middle finger, essentially saying to her, "Fuck you!" She was pissed off that the crowd was blocking traffic. Following a months-long investigation, and God knows what that entailed and why it took three months, she is now off the streets and siting behind a desk awaiting further punishment for her private little outburst caught on her body camera. 

The city's mayor said, "Black Cincinnatians deserve to feel safe knowing they will be treated with mutual respect." Sounds to me that's exactly how that guy who flipped the bird was treated by the officer. In her own defense, the 14-year veteran  cop claimed she is not against black people and that this was "a mental episode" due to stress and overwork. In other words, she would rather be seen as mentally disturbed than as someone who says "nigger" in private.

I wonder, if you say "nigger" in the forest, does anyone hear it?

The Dallas M-words

One of the Dallas Cowboys

The owner of the Dallas Cowboys had to apologize yesterday for using a normal word that has now been turned into a slur by the  woke dimwits who are constantly on guard for anything offensive. Jerry Jones said midget, which is now properly called the M-word. Yes, really, that's what you have to say in 2022.

Apparently saying "little person" is the preferable term and is not offensive to those of short stature, although personally if I were an M-word myself I would rather be called a midget than a little person, which brings to mind either a toddler not worth listening to or a miserly, unintelligent sort who never picks up the bar tab.

As for the word "cowboy," it seems explicitly sexist! Shouldn't it be the Dallas Cowpersons, or at the very least the Dallas Cowmen? Are they all little boys on that team, or is it a team of adult M-words?

J-word C-word, life is hard enough without looking for a slur under every rock. Why are most people such A-words?

Coming Out

My passport photo.

Years ago I came out to my family as a feline. They accepted it graciously and started giving me lots of treats. My husband continued to let me sleep in the bed with him, and I was allowed to go in and out of the house whenever I wanted. We started having more fish for dinner. My son gave me a bird feeder as a gift so I could watch all the birdies outside the window. Things were fine, except for a nagging feeling that I was not really expressing my true self!  I was actually putting on an act so I could fit in with society. I realized that deep down, I am not a cat but a flower. This explains why most of my paintings are of flowers; many are self-portraits and others are portraits of my floral ancestors.

I haven't told my family yet as I think this news will be harder for them to accept. Fortunately I am a perennial so my death will not come at the end of this season. I will simply lie dormant all winter, which they are used to seeing me do already.

As flowers do not speak, my lack of conversation will be an adjustment for everyone who knows me, but perhaps they will just think I have lost my mind or are depressed, two things that are quite reasonable to assume about me. Honestly, I don't care what people think since I am a flower. All I need is water and sunshine, although not bright sun -- I prefer indirect -- and only for about six hours a day.

My new name is Dahlia and my new pronoun is "it." Just let me live in a nice spot with plenty of water nearby and leave me alone.

Almost Everyone is Welcome

I recently went out to dinner at one of those very woke restaurants I usually avoid, but the dinner was to celebrate my husband's birthday and he is supremely awake. This restaurant is so woke that before you even enter they want you to know, so they posted this sign the front door:

But wait! It says nothing about all ages, or all heights or all weights! What about a short, fat old lady? Is she welcome? Or a skinny old man? Could someone too tall get in? How about poor people? They like to eat too. Or the homeless? The mentally ill? How about the hideously ugly, like maybe someone who had been disfigured in a fire, or even on 9/11?

I was so disgusted at the blatant lack of generosity towards all the underprivileged people I could hardly eat my expensive little plates filled with unfamiliar foods in strange combinations. I sure hope they fix that sign soon to include everyone.

Goodbye to Butterflies

According to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature, the monarch butterfly is two steps away from becoming extinct. This news was delivered in an article in today's Wall Street Journal, in a tone quite dire.

I'm not sure how I should react. If I'm honest, I don't care a whit. It means nothing to me. I have never been a fan of butterflies, they being nothing more than insects in fancy outfits. Not like those people who are obsessed with them enough to catch them and kill them and pin them on satin and keep them filed away in drawers. No, those people really love them. I, on the other hand, have always let them alone to fly free.

Oh well, time marches on. I'm much more upset about the extinction of some other things, like:

Writing in cursive 

Calling people on the phone

Getting birthday cards in the mail

Having an attendant fill your tank at the gas station, and wash your windshields too

Double features at the movies

Having a human answer when you call a doctor's office

Respecting our leaders

Dressing up to go to the theater

Being served dinner on an airplane, and getting a pillow and blanket too

Flirting with the opposite sex

An opposite sex

I'd Rather Be Old and Thin Than Fat and Young

77

85

76

34

24

27

36

82

24

 

Empty Lives

In what way has your life been impacted by the recent marriage of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez? Unless you live in Hollywood and know the pair personally, I'm betting not all. Yet still we are bombarded with photos and stories about the event, like it matters. This morning I read a headline that said "they both cried at the wedding." OMG! Well, that bit of news changed everything for me -- I had planned to have scrambled eggs for breakfast but after reading that I opted for toast with hummus, and really I couldn't even finish it, I was so moved.

Celebrity worship is a religion in America. I am not a follower, but I have known many people who are. I remember when years ago, Prince Charles and Diana were married and several friends of mine -- all of them gay males by the way which is an odd and interesting note -- assembled in the middle of the night (because of the time difference between the US and Britain) to "attend" the wedding. The host, who was my boss at the time, threw a fancy black-tie party from which they all watched the proceedings and toasted the newlyweds with champagne. I was unable to attend as I was busy sleeping and lacked interest. But to Tom and his friends it was a major big deal that had been planned weeks in advance. 

The internet has only made things worse, with every little thing said or done by anyone who has ever appeared on TV or in a movie reported on like something monumentally important to us all. It's sad and depressing to realize how empty people's own lives must be when they gossip and think about total strangers, often leaving their own friends and families unheralded.

A Male Woman of the Year?

While I really enjoy living and dearly want to continue doing it, the state of the world is so abysmal that I'll be okay when it's time for me to move on. One thing that has me shaking my head in disbelief is the nomination of Lia Thomas, the male swimmer claiming to be female, for the 2022 NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) Woman of the Year Award. 

Even if the 22-year-old Thomas had somehow magically achieved such an impossible transformation -- ovaries, uterus and all -- he/she has lived as a woman for only one year of his/her life. Admit it -- anyone can swim but it takes more than a year to become a nurturing, intuitive, sensitive being who can walk in high heels, do her own nails, make a bed the right way, find all the things on a grocery list, write a timely thank-you note and correctly load a dishwasher so the blades don't break things that are too big to be on the bottom or too delicate to be in there at all, like those $35 wine glasses she got as a wedding gift. 

Come on, Lia-- man up and admit you are not qualified.

  

"I'm Pregnant, Boo-hoo"

I've been reading, from a variety of sources, that people consider abortion "the most pressing issue facing our country." Really? So women having unprotected sex and getting pregnant, which by the way is what sex is for, and not wanting the baby is what's ruining America? I can think of so many other problems that are much bigger, like the price of gas, the cost of goods, empty store shelves and an impending recession. And then there's this:

Deaths by alcohol, drugs and suicide are on the increase. (186,763 people ended their lives in 2020.)

Deranged teenagers amassing weapons and then shooting at random crowds of people, in churches, theaters, grocery stores and schools. (There have been more than 300 mass shootings so far in 2022.)

The number of Americans relying on antidepressants to endure just being alive. (15.5 million have been taking them for five years or more.)

The number of homeless people sleeping outdoors in all sorts of weather, with no access to clean water or food, defecating on the streets of our major cities and adding nothing of value to our society. (In 2022, over 500,000 Americans are homeless.)

The rise in mental illness among our citizens. (Nearly 50 million in 2022.)

Youngsters deciding at an early age, before they know anything about anything, that the doctors "made a mistake." (300,000 teens in the U.S. currently identify as transgender.)

Aging people spending billions on plastic surgery to tighten their sagging skin and appear younger, despite the fact that their insides are getting older every day and they will still die. (More than 15 million cosmetic surgeries are performed annually in America.)

African American youth killing one another and an occasional passer-by on the streets of some of our biggest cities. (340 killed so far in Chicago this year.)

So hey, I'm sorry you got pregnant, honey. Go get an abortion somewhere -- it's legal in half the country. And be glad you have a roof over your head and food to eat and nobody's shooting at you.

Human Sexuality for Dummies

I just found out that I am a sapiosexual! This means I am only able to become attracted to people who are intelligent. I always knew I was different, starting in high school when I became obsessed with our class valedictorian, a nerd with big ears. Now I understand why. Since I'm married and in the middle of my 70s this information is of little use anymore, but it's great to finally have a name for what I am. 

I learned this in an article online about demisexuals. These are people who can only become attracted to someone after forming an emotional bond with them. (They used to be called "nice girls.") At first I thought I might be one of those, but then I remembered that one-night stand with a construction worker and realized it couldn't be. 

Actually, for most of my life I've considered myself an ordinary heterosexual, but with so many new varieties, I figured I'd do some research. (I'd hate to get this wrong in case someone asks.) Turns out I may be a little bit of both, making me a demi-demisexual quasi-sapiosexual.

I wonder if there's a Pride Day for that.

Taco Jill

It's a known fact that Joe Biden is a sad mess. But until now, who knew his wife was too? Recently Dr. Jill told a group of Latinos that they are "as unique as the breakfast tacos here in San Antonio."  That's just plain dumb, since she limited them to one city; what about everywhere else?. Meanwhile, everyone can agree that breakfast tacos are pretty much all alike no matter where you get them.

I checked around and found virtually the identical recipe on many foodie websites. It's not as if you make some with melted chocolate and others with hamburger meat and still others with pastrami and mustard or Snickers bars or corn chips or yogurt or peaches or lamb chops or blueberry jam or peanut butter. Instead, you can bet the farm that your breakfast taco will consist of the ingredients listed below, except maybe if someone got creative and added some avocado. (See photo.)

BREAKFAST TACOS RECIPE

Cook chopped onion, bell pepper and other crisp veggies. 

Add crumbled sausage, bits of bacon or ham.

Add a fried egg.

Cook a flour tortilla.

Sprinkle grated cheese and tomato salsa on top.

Fold over.

Now if you are talking cookies -- well, that's diverse.