Hoping to go out for Chinese food today, I was dismayed to learn that the only two viable options will be closed. Still, as the matriarch of our tiny family I am committed to making the day a pleasant one for my only child, who will remember all my faults after my death; not having a Thanksgiving dinner will surely be on the list, right after my being kidnapped at the age of four and thus ruining his life because he had to hear about it.
As is advised in the great film Adaptation,
Robert McKee instructs the writer Charlie Kaufman
(played by Nicholas Cage),
"Wow them in the end and you've got a hit!"
Still, I just can't make the prescribed meal like a rat in a laboratory so I'm cooking whatever the heck I want. Today it's pot roast but there will be apple pie and pumpkin pie for dessert, naturally with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream as options. And really, isn't that all that matters?
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