Trump's Hands Trump All

Based on the glowing recommendation of one of my dearest and most enlightened friends, I'm reading a book called The Four Agreements by a Mexican healer named Don Miguel Ruiz. It purports to be "A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom," and who doesn't want that? In plain English, the author tells you how to improve your life experience by simply incorporating these four crucial habits into your daily behavior: Be impeccable with your word; Don't take anything personally; Don't make assumptions; Always do your best.

I'm gonna try, but I'm not making any promises -- at least not while Trump is in office and the frenzied media continues to attack him like a pit bull mauls a toddler. See, now that's a perfect example of me making an assumption right there -- implying that all pit bulls eat babies and all reporters are the spawn of Satan. (The former statement is definitely unfair, and I especially apologize to my friend Judy who recently adopted an adorable pit bull that has not eaten any babies that I know of, at least not yet.)

What's irked me today is the media's current obsession with Trump's hands. Either he's not holding Melania's hand, instead "swatting it away," with his own, or else he's gripping the hand of the French president too hard in a "white-knuckle handshake," or simply shaking it for too long in a second handshake, or else his hands are just too damn tiny for him to be running the country, a narrative we heard plenty of during the campaign, mostly from Whoopie Goldberg who truly is Satan's spawn and don't try to convince me otherwise. (Uh oh, there I go again, not being impeccable with my word.)

But really, enough already with the hands! An actual headline in today's Wall Street Journal says, "Trump and Macron's Handshakes Grab the Spotlight in Brussels." Really? With all the shit going down in the world, could that be true? If so, get me my pills. See, I'm taking this all too personally. Why can't I just let idiots be idiots? (Oops, sorry.) As for always doing my best, this post is clearly not an example of that. But all I said was that I would try.

Anyway, read the book. You might do better.