Guess What: Real News IS Fake News!

This morning I was dismayed to hear on my bedroom TV, which I turn on to watch reruns of "The King of Queens" while I make the bed, that there was an "active shooting" taking place that very moment at Ohio State University, and the campus was on lockdown, and also pretty much all of the city of Columbus since they weren't yet sure if there were more than one shooter. Naturally I stayed tuned, although I was tempted to switch because I love Kevin James and Leah Remini, at least back then when she was skinny and before I knew her whole Scientology shtick. Still, I thought I should be informed, if nothing else. Ha!

Basic job interview for on-air reporters.

Turns out the only "active shooter" was the cop who shot the suspect, who had earlier run people over with his car and then slashed eight or nine or ten people --counting is hard -- with a machete, ISIS-style. No word on whether this was a terrorist attack, but the guy who did it had four names and one of them was Allah or Akbar or something like that, so draw your own conclusions, and I mean that literally, since he is now dead and the reporters doing the reporting know nothing. They. Know. Nothing.

The cold hard truth is we are all on our own. Keep your eyes and ears open and either hunker down or head for the hills, depending. Don't ask questions, certainly don't expect answers, and most of all, follow your own counsel.