Friday, May 27, 2016

If Your Phone Rings, Don't Answer

"From now on, hold my calls!"
New studies have found with 100% certainty that cell phones cause brain cancer in rats. This leads any intelligent person to two conclusions: First and most obvious, if you have a pet rat do NOT buy it a cell phone, or even let it use yours occasionally. If you already have been doing so, get ready for a pretty sick rat in your future. Second, and more important, it's a good idea to stop using a cell phone yourself.

Since most people continue smoking despite the dire warnings associated with that practice, chances are there will be little drop in cell phone use among the general public. Seeing as how I already worry that I have brain cancer, being severely neurotic and dizzy often and just plain unlucky health-wise, I intend to cut my use down considerably. After all, who needs that?

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