Friday, September 26, 2014

Your Name Here

By now pretty much everyone with half a brain knows that Coca-Cola is completely useless. A toxic brew consisting of carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel coloring (which is made by heating carbohydrates), phosphoric acid, caffeine and "natural flavors," it's no good for anyone at all, in any way. In fact it's all the way to bad for you, contributing greatly to obesity and tooth decay. Happily, even half-brained people have been wising up about what they consume, and Coke's sales have fallen for the past eleven years in a row. Until now.

They didn't change the recipe to make it taste better. It's not any healthier. All they did was slap names on the labels and the stuff went flying off the shelves. The so-called "Share a Coke" campaign has resulted in a 2% increase in global sales, owing to what one advertising maven called "the wow factor." Rolled out in 2011 in Australia, the marketing ploy was an instant hit and was then implemented in 80 countries.

Apparently seeing your very own name on a bottle of soda is damned exciting! Said one consumer who has obviously had lots of Coke in his 22 years, "to see your name on a big brand, it makes it personal."


  1. So I can share a coke with Andrew, but I can't share a coke with Andrea!