Making the stupid mistake of going for a routine eye exam, I learned that there are cloudy masses of whatever it is -- I almost don't want to know -- hovering over the lenses of my eyes. These are called cataracts, and until today I thought the term had only to do with very old people, certainly not me. But even though I still listen to rock music and will on occasion smoke pot, I am old enough to have them and they have got to go, unless of course I want to be blind, which I don't.
So all you young folks out there reading this, take note: This nasty situation is completely normal and expected for eyes past 60. It sucks, but that's one of the perks of modern medicine: We get to outlive our own body parts.