Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Brad and Angie

I just heard the news and I'm busting! Carrie Underwood is expecting.

Okay, so I don't know who Carrie Underwood is. (The heir to the typewriter fortune?) And I also don't know what she's expecting: Is it a baby, or is she about to be fired from her job? And of course, I'm not really busting, since I don't care a whit. Still, the editors of all those magazines and websites that specialize in celebrity gossip think I do, and thus nothing is too inconsequential to write about if it has to do with somebody who somebody might have heard of once.

Railing against our celebrity-adoring culture is certainly not new, for me or anyone, but it is the gift that keeps on giving. For example, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt just got married, and the news of this event has circled the globe several times. Yet, how this impacts my life remains a mystery, just like it did not impact my life when Angie had her breasts removed to avoid getting breast cancer, or when she had her last collagen lip injection.

If I were King I would immediately put a stop to all mention of celebrities. In fact, being a celebrity would be punishable by a considerable fine and community service hours.

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