While he has not been professionally diagnosed, I am pretty sure my 17-year-old cat has Feline Cognitive Dysfunction, which causes him to behave more like Joe Biden every day. This is not as devastating for me as when my 57-year-old mother developed early onset Alzheimer's and died at age 62, but much sadder than if Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, Chuck Schumer and Ilhan Omar all perished together in a plane crash.
Since Lurch never spoke English to begin with I haven't had to mourn the loss of us sharing deep conversations, but there are other symptoms that are blatantly disturbing. First of all, he seems to never know what to do with himself, and so sits in one spot staring into space for perhaps 20 minutes. Truth be told I do this myself quite often and call it "meditating," but I'm pretty sure Lurch is not repeating a mantra to himself.
He also seems to have lost his appetite, yowls mournfully for no reason, and is no longer very affectionate to his human roommates. He hasn't hunted a mouse or a chipmunk in more than a year and even fresh catnip bores him. Another odd thing is his crying to get into the basement, which used to be his favorite place to hang out. He still cries at the door to the basement, so I open it and he walks down a few steps and then comes right back up. Still, he will cry to get down there again a few hours later.
But worst of all, and most Biden-like, he still demands to be treated like royalty. So we brush him and spoil him with treats and try various brands of expensive cat food and bring home new toys, all to no avail. I'm not proud to admit it, but despite feeling immense sympathy for him I am looking forward to his successor.
No comments:
Post a Comment