Tuesday, May 31, 2016

What If


What if I hadn't been kidnapped by a stranger when I was four?
What if I never saw my six-year-old playmate 
hanging by his bathroom belt 
from a shower rod 
when I was nine?
What then? 
Would I be happier today? 
More trusting? 
Less fearful?
Might I have been a better mother? 

What if I hadn't spent twenty years 
running through the city streets on cement?
Would I still need hip replacement surgery right now?

What if I hadn't married my first husband and moved to Washington, DC? 
Would I have met my second husband? 
Would I ever live in Maine?

So many what ifs. 
So many possibilities. 

We struggle to gain control, to keep control, to not lose control. 
But really, our lives are little more 
than one chance occurrence 
piled onto another.

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