Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Human Scumbags

Early this morning --too early-- I received a phone call from a robot. It instructed me to call back immediately as the IRS was planning a law suit against me! Of course, being of sound mind, I hung up. Two hours later another call came, only this time it was a message on my voicemail. I decided to return the call just to get a handle on the scam.

A man with a distinct Indian accent said that I owed more than $6,000 in back taxes and that the IRS was suing me. He said he could resolve the situation. I asked how. He repeated that he could fix the problem and make it "go away." Again I asked how. He then asked, "How much cash do you have?" I asked what difference that made. He hung up.

The third call came a little while ago. I had been out and returned home to find another message. Now I was pissed. What about that Do Not Call Registry I signed up for last year? I called back and once again an Indian-accented male answered. This time he said the way I could fix my IRS problem was to take off my pants and sit on his dick. Then he cackled like a crazy person, somehow maintaining an Indian accent. The phone number of this hotbed of lowlife in Seattle is (206) 257-7016. I later received more calls from the same man from the number (202) 258-0213.

I suggest calling and ordering Indian takeout, maybe some mutter paneer and naan, with perhaps some chicken tikka and rice. Raita is always nice as a side dish. As for me, the whole thing was such a turn-off that I doubt I will ever eat Indian food again. Or answer my phone. Good thing I already saw The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

1 comment:

  1. You played this wrong - I called back and sounded worried and confused - totally had him going, until I eventually told him that the IRS does not hire morons, and he should get a new gig.