Friday, February 27, 2015

Dropping Acid vs. Cataract Surgery

1. The typical acid trip lasts about 12 hours. Cataracts are forever.
2. When you drop acid, both your eyeballs twirl around in your head. With cataract surgery, just the eye that was operated on twirls. No telling for how long, but still going strong on the second day post-op.
3. With acid, all colors are electric and fluorescent. With cataract surgery, browns turn purple and stainless steel undulates.
4. On acid you think you can do anything. After cataract surgery you truly believe you can do nothing. In both cases you are sort of right.
5. According to the Internet the current rate for a tab of acid is about $5.00, whereas cataract surgery starts at $2,500 per eye.
6. Acid makes you eat weird things like an entire bag of M&Ms. Cataract surgery makes you lose your appetite and thus is better for weight loss.
7. LSD inspired the Woodstock Generation to create groundbreaking music, art and literature. Cataract surgery helps that same generation read the directions on their medications.
8. On acid you think you have a third eye. With cataract surgery, you wish you did.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Nuke Gaza (or at Least Ilhan Omar)

If they can say "From the river to the sea," I can say "Nuke Gaza. " That's extreme, I know, but hey, do you rememb...