Thursday, December 4, 2014

Lady Gaga and the R Word


At least it didn't dampen her spirit.
Divulging that one was raped in the distant past is apparently all the rage. Yesterday Lady Gaga vomited up her dark secret on Howard Stern's radio talk show. (Thank you for that Lady; my life is so much richer now.) Fortunately the experience did not impact her flair for showmanship or make her ashamed of her body. (See photo.)

I may or may not have been raped somewhere in my past, but that's my business. I sure as heck am not talking about it, even if it was by Bill Cosby or anyone else famous. What's the point? Just because the Internet exists and everyone with a decent connection can know every private detail of every private life, that doesn't mean you must spill your guts to a hungry public eager to lap up your entrails.

As for rape, it's a sticky wicket. Years ago I worked with a woman named Beth. She was the drab office manager in a wildly creative studio full of designers and photographers, and was often overlooked when you wanted to have any fun. One day Beth asked me to lunch and I complied, mostly out of pity. We went to a nearby bistro, and as soon as we sat down and ordered our food she told me she had been raped many years earlier. The story filled our lunch hour. Stunned, I was of course sympathetic and consoling, until, as we were waiting for the check, she said, "And then it happened again two years later, in the very same parking garage!" That's when I thought that maybe her rape story was just that--a story, calculated to make her seem more interesting. Or perhaps she had re-created the circumstances to make her life more exciting.

Certainly I am not suggesting that is true for most rape cases, but it might help explain why so many celebrities choose to "come forward" with their dark secrets. And for those with flagging careers, a heartfelt, "I was raped as a teen" confession gets them back in the news, which is where every celebrity wants to be all the time.

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