Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Best Foot Forward

"Girl makes millions on flip-flops at 15." So says the headline on AOL this afternoon. This is annoying, and not because I begrudge her the money, but because I cannot even wear flip-flops. In fact, I don't understand how anyone can walk around with that little piece of whatever -- rubber or leather or canvas -- between their toes. I have tried and failed. I find the feeling disgusting, akin to not quite getting rid of all the toilet paper after using, if you know what I mean.  Yet they are the most popular shoe in America, or maybe the world, and certainly the oldest: Apparently they were invented in 4,000 B. C., which is how Jesus was able to get a pair. Actually, by the time he showed up they were already old hat.

People of all genders love flip-flops, and not just for the beach. They're everywhere all the time, and here in Maine you even see them in winter, in the snow, which seems odd at least. They are truly ubiquitous, which is a great word that doesn't get much use because so few things are. The funny thing is, beside being annoying and making that flip-flopping sound, flip-flops have caused and will continue to cause a variety of injuries including sprained ankles, sore calves, stubbed and broken toes, flat feet, fallen arches, tendonitis and the ubiquitous "more."

Nevertheless, some little girl painted a few seahorses and a couple of starfish on a pair
and sold them to Nordstrom's and the rest is marketing history. Now why can't I do something like that?

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