Don't Call Jenny, Just Shoot Him

I have been trying to lose two pounds all year. Really. And tomorrow is December 1, so that means only one month until New Year's, which means 31 days to reach my goal. Can I do it? I'm lacking the motivation, the most important part of any diet plan and usually the most difficult thing to find. Like, why do I want to weigh two pounds less? No reason, it's just a number. But that lack of motivation is keeping me from success.

Things could be worse. I read about an obese convicted murderer in Ohio who is lobbying to postpone his January execution on the grounds that his weight, which is 480 pounds, would make the lethal injection method too painful for him to endure. So is he planning to go on a diet to lose enough weight so that he can be killed? Now that is one diet destined to fail.