Monday, September 3, 2012

Men Are Such Boys

This morning I went into the bathroom and there was clear evidence that my husband had preceded me, and I don't mean just because the toilet seat was up. I called out to him, "Honey, do you know what that brush right next to the toilet is for?" He answered immediately, "What brush?"
     "The big, white one....."

Although many men can operate a garlic press, few--if any--can clean one. After 25 years of marriage, it is clear to me that this procedure is simply too much for Mitch, who is quite the chef and uses the garlic press daily, maybe even twice in one day if he makes himself a big breakfast and helps with dinner that night. But always the garlic press remains in the sink, full of smashed garlic drying up in all the little holes. If you do the math, with time off for vacations, that's more than 10,000 garlic-press-cleaning opportunities he passed up.

There are other things, too numerous to list here. The fact is, there really aren't any men, there are just older boys. And while many of them are indeed handsome, sexy, funny and charming, they all lack the basics of common sense. If you don't believe me, just give one of them a shopping list and send him off to the market and see what he comes home with. In most cases the list will remain on the kitchen counter, so you can sort of see why, but even armed with a list, the results can be stunning. None of this matters at all unless you consider that the race for President is always between men, and the winner is always male. That can't be good.

The bottom line: Except for the sex, most women would be gay.

2 comments:

  1. don't even get me started. art wrenched his back (probably pinched his sciatic nerve) and today we (I mean I and boyfriend Patrick) moved that uncomfortable couch out of the TV room and moved in 2 lazy boys, one which is the hospital variety to help him get out of it. this meant moving coffee tables and lamps too and vacuuming. then the plants to be watered and all the rotten food removed from the frige. NOW I am ready to leave town. May his back heal in my absence.

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