Mean Cops Suck

Heading back to Maine early this morning, we were pulled over by one of Dutchess County's finest for a minor traffic infraction. Judging by the demeanor, attitude, body language and abusive tone of the Fatman in Uniform (FU), you'd think we had run over a child, or worse, another cop.

After asking the always offensive question-- "where are you folks coming from this morning?"-- FU demanded the driver's license and registration, then sauntered back to his fully accessorized, K-9 occupied SUV, wherein he removed his hat and his Rod Steiger sunglasses and made himself comfortable, taking his own sweet time to do whatever it is they do when they go back there. This took almost 25 minutes. Fortunately I was not in labor, and while I did have the Sunday Times crossword puzzle to occupy me, it seemed like quite a long time, sitting there in the growing heat of the day, the two cats in their carriers crying to get out or get moving.

You've got to wonder why the police act that way. Why not approach us with a smile and say, "Hey folks, did you realize you did not come to a complete stop back there? It's the law around here that your tires must stop rolling, you know." Instead, FU growled at us like we were the scum of the earth, and finally gave us a ticket, then walked away. No goodbye, drive safe, nothing...

Mean-spirited encounters like that one only alienate the general public from law enforcement, ultimately making America a far worse place to live.  For example, far from feeling like that cop was looking out for our welfare, I fantasized about being in a Coen Brothers movie and following him home and blowing up his house, his police dog and his whole damn family. Instead I ate a package of Chuckles that I had been saving for the long drive home, which seemed to make me feel better.